Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
