dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
