if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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