So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
