I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize