Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
