dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
