It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
