She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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