Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
