3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
