I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
