I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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