I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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