I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
are you so shy because you have an std?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
