As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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