was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
