You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
