Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I party with great urgency now.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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