I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
