I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
