I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
