dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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