Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
