i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
