Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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