Got a toothbrush?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
