dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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