Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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