I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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