I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
no. you can't hotbox the world.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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