my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
