And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
