In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize