It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
