Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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