you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize