Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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