It's Friday. Sex?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
