where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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