words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize