I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
