So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I've blown a few things in my day
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
