Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
