I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
