I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
