Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
