We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
