Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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