In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
