Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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