Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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