He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
