My nipple is on Facebook.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
