Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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