Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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